the weighting game

I was never what you would call "svelte" even in my most active, most brimming with testosterone, having hair on my head, time of my life, i was a big man. This is pretty hard considering i am 5'11 so squat is the word of the day. Now lets fast forward a few thousand bacon cheeseburgers and a brewery of beer, and i weigh approximately the same as a female lion, or a side of beef. Now, having lifted weights I just chalked it up to getting bigger, but it was all a lie. there are plenty of people who weigh less than I who are as strong as I, and there are a heck of alot of people who can run further than i, and i think i could as well with about a rucksack worth of fat off the body.
as of today, i have lost approximately 10 lbs doing little more than cutting out my beer during the week, and fried foods, but i would love to be down at least 50lbs by the time of the race. So I have to bring up the most dreaded of gym equipment, the scale. I weigh myself every 7 days, and i am hoping for a slight decrease in weight each week from the simple addition of working out 5 days a week from 3, ans well as the cardio of the running, but will this be enough? when i start to loose significant weight i will burn less calories because of simply not working as hard carrying the weight.( ain't that a stinker, being fat actually helps you lose weight) so i am toying with some sort of diet modification and man i do not want to go there. Either way I will keep you informed.
as for the training all went well, i did miss one day of running due to bad weather which means i am going to have to come up with an alternative for jogging on the dreary cold days. and i finally made it to "big plates" on the weight training, a whopping 50lbs added to the bar, kinda fun considering i was squatting and pressing around 300 lbs.

who is this old man peeing all over the toilet

OK week 2 is in the bag and i have made some startling revelations. One, I am horribly, horribly out of what is known as "conditioning". If the zombie horde is ever to come and according to my sources, they will; I shall be the fodder that will allow others to escape. I find that i can't really run any discernable distance without looking for a place to lie down. I think one of my problems is the actual mechanics of running, it seems that i don't know how to run. When i started this, I found that I ran on the balls of my feet, and was told that unless I am trying to sneak up on someone this is hogwash, and i should actually have a roll to the foot starting with heel to toe. This means that i have to teach myself to run and now find my new mantra "heel toe, heel toe" instead of "don't throw up, don't throw up" not that throwing up is a bad thing, but more on that later.
The second thing I have learned is that somewhere in the middle of the night i age 30-40 years so that an ancient man rises up out of the bed, hobbles to the toilet, and pees all over the seat because his knees are jockeying for position of which will hit the floor first. This strange occurence seems to clear itself up after a little bit, but the first couple of days my wife was surprised to meet her future husband now in the present, and i found that i can make old man noises on cue if there is anything needed below waist level. I have begun to add linoment to my regimen using biofreeze on my knees with some good results you can learn more about it here:http://www.biofreeze.com/
Other than that things are doing well, I have enjoyed the 5X5 workout system, and it does keep me motivated adding 5 lbs to every workout, but i have a feeling in the next couple of weeks, this is going to become arduous as well. The running is slow in the gains, but i am seeing a small improvement each time out, and while i don't know if I am going to make my goal of one mile in one month, i do feel that my wind and endurance is improving.
Check back with me next week when i shall address the most nightmarish of all things, the scale.

on pink bikes, podiatrists, and why all fat men should fear compression shorts

OK first week is in the bag, and i have never been so bone tired. I stuck to the programs outlined in my previous entry, and i am glad that i decided to start the weight lifting at the bar instead of the weights i am used to. These weight training sessions became my stretching and bitching sessions ( special thanks to my lovely wife who got to put up with both).The old adage you must walk before you run is so true, and i spent the majority of my time walking instead of running. My main mission was just to make it out the door and stay out at a brisk pace for 30 minutes.

The very first night I took my beautiful daughter with her bike newly liberated of it's training wheels on my maiden jaunt. i would rather have a rabid drill instructor out of Paris island with a bad hair cut than my princess as a training coach. I heard things like: "suck it up!", "boy you're really bad at this", and "are you having a seizure?". Needless to say my next foray out I decided to go it alone, so i could gasp in peace.

Now on to the good foot doctor. I recommend that if you ever had problems with your feet find a competent podiatrist, and get them looked at. Now if you don't have insurance or can't find a doctor that didn't graduate from Tijuana, let me illuminate you. Take your favorite pair of shoes, flip on over and look how your tread is worn. if the tread is worn on the inside of the shoe you have what is known as overpronated feet. if the outside of your shoe is worn you underpronate.

now look at the arch of your foot. if you have one good for you, if you don't you are what is known as flatfooted, and you probably already know this. now my copay is $25.oo i saved you at least that so we will call it even at $5.00, pay up. There you just went to the foot doctors

Finally,

I have rather large legs, i like to think its from years of squats, but the fried chicken probably didn't hurt. after an exhaustive search and study with speaking to literally a real person, i have found a solution to the unbearable chaffing that is to come from the friction caused by thighs rubbing together enough to start a forest fire. A good pair of compression shorts help protect the tender spots, while adding support to the muscle in the upper legs. I bought and have enjoyed so far the underarmour shorts. you can find them here: www.Underarmour.com these have been a life saver, but word of warning, if you have ever had a relationship with a French fry, a cheese steak, or anything remotely tasty, do not put these things on and stand in front of a mirror. If by chance you do I suggest hard liquor and one day bed rest, burn all mirrors.

That's about it, I will next time discuss shoes, why they are cruel, and why you never trust a dvd on stretching.

The plan is set

OK,
my initial decision to run this insane race, i need to do a serious overhaul on my body. As I have said, i have lifted weights most of my adult life, and i don't see that changing. So I have decided on a 5 day workout regimen with Monday, Wedsday, and Friday going to weight training, and Tuesday and Thursday being my jogging days. My weight training I will be following the strong lifts 5X5 routine. this is a great basic routine, that should cover all major body parts. I am used to a 3 day routine albeit 2 body parts a day and not total body conditioning, so we shall see how this goes. anyways, if your interested here is the website:http://stronglifts.com/stronglifts-5x5-beginner-strength-training-program/.
For my jogging criteria, i will be using a modified"from couch to 5k running plan" Sounds right up my alley. here is the website for it as well http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml.
as the year progresses, i will be flipping these two regimens so that i am lifting 2 times a week and running three. I will probably let the weight training go and do primarily body weight exercises the last month of training and will be actively searching for body weight workout plans that encorporate a bear walk for scrambling under barbed wire, as well as the always fun push ups, pull ups and the infamous "burpies"
Think thast about it for my plans of course there will be some dietary restrictions, and i need to see my podiatrist to find out what type of shoe i need, and whether or not all the broken toes and ankles over the years are gonna give me trouble. so stay tuned for that.